What I've Learned in the First Month with A Newborn • Essentially Sydney

What a wild ride this last month has been. First of all, it flew by! I am no stranger to babies. I have been around babies my whole life. From my little cousins to babysitting to serving in the nursery at church for years, I’d say I am very confident around babies. I have learned a lot over the years.

But then I had one of my own and was sent home to keep her alive and well. Let’s just say the learning curve with a newborn as a new parent is MASSIVE! There more to it than rocking and playing and giving it a bottle or two. These little ones rely solely on you for everything. There is a lot to learn and you need to do it immediately.

Thank goodness for the mothers who have gone before me. To my mother, who selflessly came and spent the first two weeks with us. To my sweet friend Kramer who had her little one only months before me. And to all the mothers on Facebook that came to my rescue with all the suggestions on any topic I asked about! I couldn’t have done it without you all!

With all that being said, I figured it would be nice to compile all the random yet extremely helpful things I’ve learned so far in one place for future new mommas and for me when I have my second and need a refresher! Now I know that every baby is different and not all of these things will be relevant for everyone but that’s ok. Still, good things to know, maybe you can pass a tip or 2 on to your new momma friend sometime down the road. Let’s dive in!

Things I Was Not Prepared For

The major swelling I had in my legs and feet after giving birth. It didn’t get super bad until I got home. It lasted for several days. Very uncomfortable. I even felt fluid in my left ear. Not 100% sure it was related but it would make sense.
I hadn’t even taken my pump out of the box yet. Big mistake. Because all of a sudden I needed it and had no idea what to do. Also, 100000% get extra pump parts. It’s such a pain to have to wash the one set it comes with over and over and over all day and night long!
What an actual newborn schedule looked like. It felt like every 2 seconds it was time to feed again. It took a good 3 weeks for me to get into the swing of her schedule.

Things I Needed and Didn’t Have

A bottle warmer
ALL OF THE BREAST PADS! Washable and disposable. I use both.
Pumping bras
Enough bottles. We use Dr. Brown’s slow flow.
The correct type of underwear. (Sorry if you are reading this dad) I have worn thongs for as long as I can remember. Well, when you have to wear maxi pads for weeks you need full coverage! I did wear the mesh undies that the hospital gives you. We had THE BEST NURSE, Nan, and she stocked us up on pads, undies, formula, etc. But you will want to wear something less bulky eventually.
A TON of muslin burp cloths. I hate all the other kinds and we only had like 6 total burp clothes when we brought her home. Huge problem haha. Amazon to the rescue!

Mastitis

Who knew that an infection in your breast could make you feel like you have the flu. Turned out it’s true and it SUCKS! So far I have had mastitis twice and I never want to have it again. The first time I got it was the same day I had my 2 week post-op check-up so I was able to be examined by my doctor that same day. She gave me some antibiotics and I was able to get ahead of the game. That first day I had a fever, body aches, cold chills, and a massive headache. It was so mentally challenging because I was still trying to figure out how to take care of my brand new baby but now I couldn’t really take care of myself.

Luckily, I have a lot of awesome people in my corner that came through with all the tips! Basically, mastitis is a clogged milk duct that has become infected and it’s REALLY important to get it cleared out as soon as possible because it can get MUCH worse. Here are the top tips I have received.

Pump, pump and pump some more. And if you are nursing, do that as much as you can!
Massage. I know it hurts like crazy but it will help. Even better if you massage while you pump…and when you shower!
Hot showers! The heat will help and feel so good! Like I said, massage under the hot water too!
Take the antibiotics! It helps a ton! I also alternated ibuprofen and Tylenol for the first two days to keep the flu-like symptoms at bay.
Take sunflower lecithin supplements! This basically helps thin out your milk so the clog can pass easier. This is also a great supplement to take as a preventative measure! (Warning, the capsules are huge. But it’s worth it to not get mastitis.)

Jaundice

So we didn’t have a big issue with jaundice but there was about a 48 hour time period where Brin was a tad yellow. So we just went ahead and did what we could to help until we could get to her checkup a few days later.

The best thing you can do for jaundice is to feed! Like a lot! We upped her feedings to about an hour apart. For 24ish hours and it helped so much. When we got to her appointment her levels were great!

Worst case scenario for jaundice is they have to spend time in the hospital under the light.

Feeding

I went into this thinking I fully supported “fed is best” and I do. But. When she got here, all I wanted to do was nurse her. For me, it was a very emotional thing. A special connection for just Brinley and me. So when we started having issues it was VERY hard on me.

We went from having no problems to her not latching anymore. It was the hardest thing for my new momma heart. I knew that it didn’t matter. She would get fed one way or the other. But I did grieve losing the ability to nurse her.

We went to see a lactation specialist and they said she does not suck properly so we have an appointment scheduled with an occupational therapist to try and get it corrected and get back to nursing. But I have accepted the fact that it might not work and we might be in the “exclusive pumping” club for good. Which is a-ok! She has done very well with a bottle for a few weeks now.

But just know friend, it is ok to be sad if something doesn’t go like you wanted. All your feelings are valid! But just try to be flexible and give you and your baby grace during that learning process! There is no way to know exactly how your feeding journey will go. You’re still a fantastic momma no matter how you feed your baby! Remember that!

Sleeping

Let’s talk about sleep. Brinley is a great sleeper. She loves to sleep just like her parents! But finding her sweet spot took some trial and error. We knew we wanted to co-sleep with her in her bassinet for at least the first 6 months. So that’s what we did. When we brought her home we put her in the bassinet right next to my side of the bed. Those first few nights were rough. We quickly learned we needed to change a few things up.

First, we learned her bassinet was too big. She tossed and turned and was up all night for the first few nights. Until we put her dock a tot in the bassinet. She needed to be snuggled a bit more in order to sleep soundly.
Second, we moved the bassinet to the end of our bed. I wasn’t getting any sleep with her right next to me because I stirred with every squeak and snort she made. Now I can still hear her but can sleep a bit better.
We also found that she needed to be swaddled to sleep the best in those first few weeks. Since we have transitioned to sleepers and sleep sacks. But overall she is just a good sleeper.
I also was killing myself trying to do it all on my own the first few weeks. Every feeding time I would get up, change her diaper, feed her, and pump before I could go back to sleep for like an hour before I had to do it all again. Finally, I started asking for help. Josh started getting up with me every time and he would feed her while I pumped. It cut our awake time in half. Now we have a system. I stretch the time in between my pumping sessions at night and so there is one feeding that just Josh gets up for. That way we each get longer stretches of sleep.

Diapering

When people would tell me that your baby will pick which diapers are best for them I was always so confused. I did not understand. All diapers were basically the same right? Wrong!!!! We pretty much had at least one package of each brand in newborn size from all our baby showers. So we were able to test them all out. There are definitely brands we hate and ones we love. There are a few brands that send poop up her back every time she wears them.

Another thing I love about some brands is the wet indicator. There is a yellow line that turns blue when it gets wet on some brands. I personally prefer that perk.

Hormones

Prepare yourself, friend. The hormones make everything feel so much bigger those first few weeks! I’d say I am a pretty chill person. I go with the flow very easily. But those hormones took me for a loop. Anytime that anything went slightly wrong I was a ball of tears. When she stopped latching, would have a giant spit up, or had her jaundice, I cried constantly. Even though I knew none of these things were a big deal. I couldn’t help it.

The love and protectiveness I feel for her is HUGE! And it’s giant feelings that appear overnight so of course, you have to give yourself time to adjust to them. The best way I can describe it is fierce. The motherly instinct is fierce and there’s no way to prepare for it. It’s also the best feeling. To love someone so strongly. To all of a sudden know, you’d die for this tiny human no matter what is a big thing.

As I said, it has been quite the learning curve but I would live it all over and over again for my sweet girl! Motherhood is a lot of things, rewarding, challenging, intense, and beautiful. It might feel like you are drinking out of a fire hose in the beginning but it does get easier! I have learned so much and I am sure this is just the beginning of my education but it has been so fun to watch her learn and grow right along with me!