Hi again friend! So today I have something super special to share with you! I had the idea for this post for a while and wasn’t sure how I wanted to go about it and when I told my husband about it he thought it was silly because he didn’t consider us newlyweds anymore. So I googled it, of course, and according to google couples are considered newlyweds up to 4 years after getting married! So we are still in the category!

Anyways! What I have done, is ask some amazing women ( who are also newlyweds) to share their top tips for people who are entering this stage of life! Each one gave a unique perspective and provided incredibly thought out suggestions! I am beyond excited to share these with you! So let’s dive in!

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Meet Ashley

1. Get the book “Things I Wish I Knew Before Marriage” by Gary Chapman and work through it together as soon as you can.
2. Give each other white space. White space is fine for a person to be alone and it can be critical in the early months of marriage. Plus, it’s nicer to say “I need white space” than “Please leave me alone!”
3. Pray together on a regular basis and find a church to plug into.
4. Figure out how to make decisions when you don’t agree. We use a 1-10 rating scale. If we disagree but I say that I care about a 3 and he cares an 8, I probably need to concede.
5. Don’t expect to have it all figured out. Show grace towards each other and yourself. Marriage takes intentionality.

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Meet Amberly

1. Seek the Lord daily and pray together
2. Don’t sweat the small things aka choose your battles
3. Commit to pursue your spouse’s love language (5 love language book-Gary Chapman)
4. believe the best about one another
5. you are a team, remember to prioritize one another above anyone else
6. love relentlessly and forgive always

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Meet Casey

1. Forgive often (you’ll need it too).
2. Give each other time and space for other things you love.
3. Nothing is going to go as planned.
4. Make time for each other.
5. Life is hard. Don’t hold it in. That’s what they’re there for.

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Meet Sam

1. Never forget to date your spouse over and over again. If you haven’t already taken the 5 Love Languages test and plan date nights based on each other it is so much fun. My husband is Acts of Service and Quality time, but he’s also an introvert, sooo date nights in, ordering food in and binge-watching Netflix would be his ideal date night. When it’s my turn to plan date night it’s not what I want to do it’s what I know my husband would love. Then when it’s his turn he plans on according to what I like. It makes it a fun surprise but also meaningful.
2. Tell your spouse 1 thing you’re grateful for pertaining to them nightly. My husband and I have started this over the last 2 years nightly we say one thing we are grateful for each other before going to bed. If we aren’t together or if one goes to be before the other — we’ll text each other or say it before whoever goes to bed first. It can be something they did that day, lately what you’re grateful for, etc. Examples: I am grateful for you giving me a hug when you walked in the door after work. I am a physical touch person, so it means the world to me. They can’t read your mind, so it also lets your spouse know what little things mean so much to you. Other examples: I am grateful for how hard you work. I am grateful for you taking the trash out. I am grateful for you supporting me. I am grateful for how sexy you are.
3. Travel. You hear it a lot, but it is SO much fun traveling and doing staycations with your spouse. Make it a point to go to places where you can let loose, do what you love doing best together and be with friends.
4. Go on double dates. There’s something about after getting married you have this AHHHH moment when you’re like WHOA I have a lot of time on my hands now I’m not planning for a wedding. We still tend to fill it with a bajillion other things. When you go on double dates you eventually start bragging about your spouse in front of other people you love too. It’s an amazing love tank filler when you hear your spouse talk about you and life in front of you.
5. Over communicate. We are not mind-readers and now that you’re husband and wife don’t think they you will be for each other. If you don’t like something they did tell them. If you like something they did tell them. If you’re not in a good mood and you need some loving TELL THEM. Don’t expect them to hug you or kiss you or do exactly what you need at that time without them telling you.

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“I used to read those bits about finding your other half, and I totally bought into it. But that’s not the way it works. Two half people don’t make a whole. You’ve got to be completely whole on your own before you can be one half of anything.” 

Rachel Hollis

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I hope you found even just one thing that can help you during this newlywed time or even if you are past that! Marriage is like a baby, it grows and changes all the time! You have to show up everyday and be all in!

If you have a tip or piece of advice that you think is super helpful, drop it in the comments! I would love to read them!