I feel changed. Yes, I am a mama twice over now and my day-to-day life looks different but I also feel different. Not just physically either, like my perspective, mindset and attitude are different. As this new year is being kicked off, a few things have hit me hard and I wanted to dig a little deeper into those things.

Learning To Let Go Of Some Control

Once B was born, I changed. I went from being the most “go with the flow” person on Earth to feeling like I needed to control everything about this tiny baby’s life. It felt like that was what I needed to do in order to be a good mom. I needed to make sure she was eating, sleeping, and pooping right, and then everything would be ok. It sounds so crazy now but when I think about it, I kind of felt crazy too. A big thanks to everyone that had to deal with me all of 2021! Haha.

Reflecting back, it was just how I coped with being a mom for the first time. I had no idea what I was doing so I made sure to read all of the things and make the best decision for my kiddo and stick to it no matter what. Needless to say, it was exhausting!

But once L was born, I changed again. Honestly, I don’t even really know how to explain it well but I just knew there was no way I could possibly control everything while raising two babies at the same time so I just surrendered. I kinda knew what I was doing this go around so the need to be so in control eased up a lot. I knew the basics of what he needed and had enough experience and knowledge on littles that I knew I could handle any trials that would pop up. You could even say that the kiddos are the ones in control of me now. My days are run by their schedules and needs and I am perfectly okay with that. It brings a structure to my life that I didn’t even know I needed.

Truly Knowing My Priorities

It’s all about your perspective. When you have so many moving things in your life at once, you gotta be able to set your priorities and that was one of the things I focused on this new year. I knew I needed to make sure I was grounded in the Word of God first. So I made the decision that I would do every She Reads Truth study in real-time this year. It has been so life-giving and it’s only been 19 days. I wanted to take the guesswork out of which study I would be doing next.

Next, I knew I needed to prioritize my marriage. Monthly date nights are non-negotiable for this year. It might look different from month to month but I will do whatever I need to do to get a few uninterrupted hours with my husband. And lastly, I wanted to be really intentional with my kids. Individual dates with them so they get that one-on-one time with us every now and then. And let the house chores sit 30 minutes longer while I sit down on their level to play or talk. It doesn’t take much, but it can be really easy to get swept up in all the to-dos.

This has helped me approach each day with a healthy mindset and given me the ability to be really intentional with my time. The years when they are little go by so fast and I want to do everything I can in the craziness to soak it all up! Speaking of soaking it up, I have started creating daily recaps where I share a few photos each day. By doing this, it reminds me to grab my phone and snap a quick photo of all the little (or big) moments of each day. It might be a photo of the sunrise or of all of us at the dinner table with food all over the floor. You get the idea.

There’s no “winging it” when you are a mom. You automatically have the role of making sure everyone has what they need when they need it. Yes, it’s exhausting but it’s truly the biggest honor of my life to get to be that person! It just takes a little planning and organizing to be successful.

The Importance of Goals and Routines

I touched on this a bit already but I have found a good balance between setting a good routine and not letting the need to control take over. The trick? Being flexible. Days rarely go exactly how we plan them right? So what’s the point of stressing over it? Control what you can and be flexible in the things that you can’t. A few things I can control are planning and packing lunchboxes the night before. I can control planning out my workouts a whole week ahead so I don’t fail at making it a priority. I can control grocery shopping and meal planning on Sunday or Monday so we avoid the dreaded “what do you want for dinner” conversation with my husband.

We have a bedtime routine and we have a morning routine and they make all the difference. There is a reason why kids function so well when they have routines in place. It takes the unknown out of the equation. They know exactly what to expect when we finish dinner, we are going to either take a bath or get our PJs on. Which means there’s no shock and fewer tears. It’s all about perspective.

Things That Help

I am sad to admit I am big things girl. I’d like to think I am not but I just am. So I thought I would share a few of those things that help me every day.

• My Simplified Planner – Love love love! Can’t say enough good things! Emily also has a podcast, check it out!
• My Stanley Cup – Gotta stay hydrated people!
• A good set of pens – To use in your planner; duh.
• Magnetic Notepads – For your fridge. Does anyone else think of all the things while in the kitchen or cooking dinner?
• Loopy Case – For when you are carrying all the children and all the bags at the same time.
• She Reads Truth – I love their studies and I also have one of their Bibles.