Friends, I have a baby now! FINALLY! Brinley Kate is here! After all the wishing, dreaming, waiting, shots, appointments, tears, negative tests, years, and pain. I have a tiny human that my body actually grew! How cool, right?! I am absolutely in love and obsessed with her! So just prepare yourself for all the baby content because I am sooo blessed to be able to start creating content about her! Plus, she is perfect so I am sure you’ll enjoy it too!

Today I want to share Brinley’s birth story. As I am sure most birth stories go, this one did not go as expected by any means. The journey to meet Brinley was a long uphill battle.

I can honestly say I went into giving birth with a completely open mind. I’d accepted the fact that I may have a c section but the goal was to deliver vaginally. I had no idea what to expect but I was excited. Since I didn’t set any expectations I can’t say it didn’t go as planned, but man, I couldn’t have ever imagined it going how it did.

I knew I was carrying a big baby. We had known since week 36 so I had been mentally preparing for that for weeks. Unfortunately, my body was not interested in getting the process started on its own so at each appointment, I wasn’t making any process. It was frustrating. I just wanted to meet my baby!

Day Before Induction

We had decided that we would be induced at 39 weeks if my body didn’t go into labor on its own before then. Well, I went in for my last check on the morning of Monday, January 4th and the doctor asked if I wanted to go in that night to start the induction. I was instantly filled with so many emotions. Relief, that I was finally going to have this baby. Excitement, I was legit excited to give birth and finally get to experience it all. Nerves, I mean come on, I was entering a big unknown.

I actually went straight to the nail salon after my appointment and got the most wonderful pedicure and manicure. That was actually already my plan for the day before I found out we were going into the hospital later that night. How fun, right? After that, I went home and we started getting ready. We picked up the house some, finished packing our bags, I tried to take a nap but that didn’t happen and we hit up Starbucks on our way in.

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Night Before Induction

We arrived and were in our room by 5:30 pm. I put on my gown, got hooked up to the baby monitor, and answered a ton of intake questions. They tried to put my IV in both of my hands by blew BOTH veins (I had pretty bad bruises on my hands for a good 2 weeks). They finally got my IV in my forearm. I was in for a long night. I was only at a 1 so we had some work to do. They put in a Cervidil at 7 pm and it had to say put for 12 hours. I couldn’t eat or drink for the first 2 hours But then Josh ran and got us Jimmy Johns for dinner! It was so yummy! That was the last time I ate for like 35 hours.

It was a night full of small but uncomfortable contractions. I did get a dose of pain meds around 1 am and was finally able to get about 2 hours of sleep. Mostly, I tossed and turned all night, got up to pee several times, and watched some Netflix to pass the time. I thought it was a pretty rough night at the time but compared to what was coming next, it was a piece of cake.

Induction Day

So now it’s the morning of Tuesday, January 5th and it’s time to take out the Cervidil and see how much progress I had made. I was able to take a quick shower and it was glorious! Turns out, I had made very little progress. Still at about a 1 and my cervix was still very high and thick. Not ideal.

The next step was to start the Pitocin. The doctor also decided to put in a folly balloon to try and help my cervix dilate. The idea is that it would help my cervix to get to around a 4 and hopefully my body would take the hint and do the rest. I had contractions while the balloon was in. Once they took it out a couple of hours later I was at a 4 but my cervix was still very high, so was Brinley. My doctor broke my water when she took the balloon out.

They increased the Pitocin drip and put an internal monitor on Brinley to better track her heart rate.

I then had hard labor for about 2.5 hours until I got my epidural. When they checked me after the epidural I was at a 6. Which is where I stayed. They cranked the Pitocin drip all the way up to 40 and I never dilated anymore.

January 6th, 2021

At this point, it was late evening and I was exhausted. So as one last effort they gave me a beta-blocker to cancel out the Pitocin I had already received and started it all over again. They had me try using the peanut ball and changed my position every 15 minutes. They worked the Pitocin back up to 40 but we had no luck getting past a 6.

At this point, I was worn out, frustrated, and ready to meet my baby. We were well into the night and I didn’t know how much more I could take. The doctor agreed that the likelihood of me dilating anymore was not good. So we decided to go ahead with a C Section. It was finally time to meet our sweet Brinley!

C Section – Go Time

Everything happened really fast at this point. They started prepping me and Josh and my mom started packing up all our stuff. They took me to the OR and started the process. I was shaking and freezing from all the meds. They got me all hooked up, set up, and ready and then brought Josh in. They told me I would only feel pressure and touch. No sharp. They were wrong.

Now, this is the point in the story where I am not going to share all the details. I am doing this for a few reasons. I don’t want the pain to be the only thing I remember, I don’t want to scare anyone reading this, and honestly, it was just a personal thing. Turns out, I felt a lot of pain during my C Section. It was not your typical experience. My doctor guesses that my epidural block was not dense enough. The whole team did everything they could and I survived it. I will leave it at that.

My whole labor and delivery experience was truly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I really surprised myself at how strong and resilient I was the whole time. I am not trying to toot my own horn, I just now know I can do really hard shit.

Her Big Debut – Brinley Kate

Brinley Kate was born at 3:41 AM on January 6th, 2021. When the doctor held her over the sheet and I saw her little self for the first time, it was magical. But I will tell you my very favorite part was hearing that little cry for the first time. I will never forget the pure joy, love, and pride I felt in that moment. I legit wept when I heard her. It was the most special moment for Josh and me!

Josh got to be with her from that moment on while I was being closed up. I thought I passed out during this part from the pain and exhaustion but in reality, I must have just blocked out the memory altogether because Josh told me I was awake for the whole thing. But, I do remember doing some skin to skin with Brinley while I was still on the table and we have some photos of that. I don’t remember leaving the OR and being brought to recovery though.

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The nurses took some really great photos for us! It might not have been anything like I imagined but it was mine and Brinley’s story. And it happened exactly how it was meant to. I would do it all over again for her!

So Blessed

I thank God every day for our beautiful daughter. I thank him for keeping us both safe and healthy during the whole process. And for showing me what I am truly capable of. The whole experience was incredibly empowering and has made me a more confident momma. I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I do! There will be plenty more in the future!

Brinley, mommy loves you more than words can describe! You were so worth the wait and struggle! I pray you will always know how loved and cherished you are! I also pray that you will always find your identity in Him and not in this world. You are beautifully and wonderfully made by our creator! And you were handpicked just for me!

And to think, here is where it all started!