Today I am gladly introducing you to a new guest writer for Essentially Sydney! Allie Scharfe! We actually met playing adult rec volleyball, yes we are on the same team and we rock, of course! She is a writer by nature and will have you laughing all through this post! So get ready to giggle and plan some self-care time in your near future! Treat yourself!

Allie Scharfe

‘Tis the season to… shop for others, cook for others, plan for others, spend your free time with others… See a trend? I do! The holidays are perfect to share the love with the ones you love but… what about you?

I know. *Gasp*. How selfish to think of yourself during the holiday season! So shameful. 

But is it really? Since when did thinking of yourself become “selfish”? 

This holiday season, make sure you do yourself (and everyone around you, if we’re honest) a favor and treat yourself! Put that oxygen mask on you before helping others and all that. 

So, while you’re deciding between practicing social distancing and hugging your Aunt Ruth, all while wondering if they still have the wine advent calendar at Aldi (hint: they’re sold out), here are some tips on how to take care of yourself this holiday season and NOT feel bad about it!

1. Do what makes you happy.

This sounds easy. But even when we’ve got days off, our brains plan them and during the holiday season, they’re usually plans for other people. Make sure you give yourself a break and do what makes you happy, too. Carve out time for you. Don’t be afraid to ask loved ones or babysitters to watch the kiddos for a little while for reasons other than going to the mall. You don’t need to justify giving yourself five minutes of peace and rationalize what makes you happy. Be like Nike and just do it, girl. 

2. Say no.

That’s right. Say no! If someone asks you to do something and you have a valid reason for not doing it… don’t! It sounds simple, but most of us feel guilty for asserting what we want, especially during the holidays. A few things you can maybe ask yourself: Do I want to do this? Will it hurt someone if I say no? Will it help someone if I say yes? Am I just being lazy? Do I have a valid reason for not going? 

Let’s break those down. 

• “Do I want to do this?” – Seems like that’d be a natural question, but so often during the holiday season, we just go with the flow even if we’re tired of swimming. It’s actually worth asking whether you want to do the thing in the first place. 
• “Will it hurt someone if I say no?” – This one might surprise you. Many times, we assume what others would think or want and we actually have no idea. Sometimes we don’t even take into account that they love us and want the best for us, too. Sometimes saying no is the best thing for us. So, the real question is, “If someone said no to me in this situation, for the same reasons, would it hurt me?” Another way to put it is, “What would my best friend tell me to do.” I’m a huge proponent of treating yourself like your best friend and sometimes your best friend needs some real talk. So if the answer is yes, it would probably hurt the other person if you say no, then… Meh, put on your big girl/boy undies and go, my friend. But if the answer is no, that no one would be harmed by you saying no, that you would understand, then say no! Firmly and unapologetically! Explain where you’re coming from, and give them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll respect your decision. If they do get sassy and irrational, that’s not really something you can control, nor should you feel bad about it. That’s on them, not you. 
• “Will it help someone if I say yes?” – If what is being asked of you doesn’t take too much from you and it would make the other person happy, then ‘tis the season and go make them jolly by saying yes. In that situation, you’ll probably even feel good about saying yes and end up wanting to do the thing in the first place. 
• “Am I being lazy?” & “Do I have a valid reason for not going?” See below for these two. 

Say yes.

Here’s the tricky part. If you’re being lazy and you don’t have a valid reason to say no, then you should probably say yes. But know that when I say lazy, I’m not saying you’ve-done-so-much-for-others-and-you-just-want-to-take-a-bath “lazy”, because news flash, that’s not lazy, that’s self-care. (More on that below). I’m talking been-watching-Hallmark-holiday-specials-for-the-past-three-nights-in-a-row lazy. In that case, change out of those three-day unwashed flannel pjs and start making memories. You won’t look back fondly at all the hours it took to make that cute little booty imprint on the couch, but you will remember the time you spent with others. 

4. Listen to music, or don’t!

If you are absolutely displeased by Christmas music, don’t feel bad about turning the station. But if you love it, go for it and don’t apologize for that either! I know around here there’s even a station that has Christmas year-long! If it makes you happy that’s something so simple and hurts no one. In fact, it could help them. Studies have shown that holiday music can improve your mood, it’s good for your memory, can decrease your stress (as long as you’re not in the mall while you’re listening–not part of the study but that just has to be true), and it can even reduce pain. So, release that cocktail of dopamine and serotonin and turn on some Michael Bublé. Treat yourself!

5. Make a list.

Make a list of your perfect holiday. Okay, did you do it? Good. Now make a realistic one. Those lists are now a priority. Attempt to do as many things on that list as possible, but give yourself grace if you don’t accomplish them all. Instead, be thankful for all the things you were able to achieve because you made an awesome holiday season. It’s all about attitude, people. Speaking of…

6. Appreciate the reason.

Practice what fills your cup spiritually. If going to church and remembering the reason for the season makes you feel lighter, DO IT! Don’t stress over it though. At least don’t focus on the stress. Focus on gratitude and believe that this is a wonderful time in your life full of gifts and blessings.  

7. Watch your favorite holiday movie.

Might I suggest: 

It’s our family’s favorite and we watch it every year and the perfect reminder of how blessed we are and the world is to have you in it. 

8. Go take a hike.

Yes literally! Or even just a leisurely stroll. There are so many studies that have shown time and time again that walking is extraordinarily good for you. I normally don’t believe if everyone says it, it must be true. But in this case, if the shoe fits, walk in it.  Treat yourself!

9. Make some cider.

It makes the house smell good and puts you in the mood for some It’s a Wonderful Life. The hubs and I like to do it the easy way and get this kind. 

10. Find a fireplace or fire pit.

This is one of my favorite things to do in any season. Fires are warm and cozy, so grab a book or put on It’s A Wonderful Life and enjoy with a mug of cider. Bonus points and fun for the kids: If you have a fireplace, take all the warm and cozy things (pillows, cushions, blankets, etc.) in the living room or house and make a comfy pile in the living room with the gas logs fired up. Of course, practice safe fire habits!

11. Take a bubble bath.

Go all out, too! Get the bath salts and bubbles, the candles, a glass of wine, a novel, and even the rubber ducky if that floats your boat. Bubble baths aren’t my thing, but my friend—and this study—swears by them as the answer to all of our problems (specifically fatigue, stress, pain, skin conditions, and overall health, to name a few). Treat yourself!

12. Buy or make your own Christmas smells.

For laziness reasons, the husband and I have a fake Christmas tree named Olaf that we put up each year. To make it feel more authentic, we always buy a pine-scented candle that does the trick for us and smells like a real tree. We also like to cook a pot of potpourri from this recipe by Half Baked Harvest. Over the years, we’ve changed it up and we don’t include the star anise, ginger, fresh pine, and we use the vanilla extract, but it is absolutely delightful. 

13. Self-care gifts or give yourself a gift.

Sure, sometimes we can count on those around us to magically know what we want. But just in case they haven’t been given the gift of ESP for Christmas, give them a hint! Or just buy it for yourself as a gift. It sounds much better if you call it a gift and if you love wrapping gifts, wrap it and leave it under the tree for yourself! If you’re like me and do it soon enough, you may even forget and be pleasantly surprised on Christmas morning. And don’t feel guilty about splurging. There’s a global pandemic. It’s tough out there and you deserve all the good things. Treat yourself!

Unsure what to get yourself? That’s okay, don’t stress. It can be anything. For example, a friend of mine has a standing Christmas massage appointment. Also, Sydney has some wonderful posts about gift ideas. Check these for ideas with yourself in mind: The Homebody, Tech Lovers, Pet Owners, Work from Home. 

14. Go Christmas light driving.

Don’t want to go all out decorating this year? Girl, I don’t blame you. But one thing us Snoopy and Charlie Brown decorators can be thankful for are those people who channel their inner Who character. Go for a drive and appreciate those who go all out in their decorations. Seriously, Miss Martha May Whovier out there, I need you to know that us Charlie Browns are so thankful you exist. We get all the decoration serotonin and dopamine and we didn’t even have to worry about our medical bills after putting lights on our roofs.  

15. Buy one decoration. Buy one ornament.

I don’t have any studies for this one, but it’s a little thing that goes a long way. My husband and I try to practice minimalism. We don’t like a lot of “stuff” and, thanks to Dave Ramsey, we try not to spend too much money if we can help it. So, each year, we get one decoration and one ornament for Christmas. It’s become a pretty fun tradition that I suggest for everyone. You’re not spending a ton on decorations that are a pain to put up, and you can commemorate the year with a relevant ornament that you can share the story behind in later years!

16. Decorate….EARLY!

For some of us, decorating feels like a pain. I wouldn’t suggest going all out Griswold or Martha May Whovier style, but decorating can be good for the psyche. And if your husband or neighbor teases you about decorating early, tell them it’s doctor’s told you to. Not really, but scientists say that the feelings of nostalgia that decorating bring makes us feel calmer and more altruistic. We’ll want to help and interact with others and spread good cheer. Which brings me to my last suggestion. Treat yourself!

17. Do something for someone else.

This might seem counterintuitive in a post about treating yourself, but doing something good for someone else can be a wonderful form of self-care. Studies have shown that being generous can release endorphins, reducing stress, and lowering blood pressure. So go out there and make yourself happy by making someone else happy. TREAT YOURSELF!

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I’m sure for a lot of these ideas, you were thinking “duh”. But the powerful part about holiday self-care is giving yourself permission to do it. So, take one of these ideas, or make your own, and treat yourself unapologetically this holiday season! It’s 2020, friend, we all deserve it. With love, Allie S.

What a great list of ideas!! Treat yourself! This is definitely a girl after my own heart! Doing things your own way and not to care what anyone else says! I will be following this list all season! Comment below which one was your favorite from this list! Also, make sure you share this post on one of your socials to be entered in the Blomgas giveaway!