This is a topic that has become very present in my life. Several of my friends and people I know have been struggling with it. I have seen more articles written about it. I am aware of more support groups created for it. As well as the fact that it has crept into the back of my mind and been causing me to worry.
Technically, I don’t struggle with infertility because we have not seen a doctor for tests or been told we have a hurdle to overcome. That being said, we have been trying for 10 months now and to a lot of you that isn’t very long compared to the years you have been trying. But I feel like I need to share my story nonetheless.
April 2018
We were finally going to ‘pull the goalie’ as my husband likes to say. We had been married for almost a year and both were ready to start growing our little family! It was so exciting! All the possibility of it! It never even crossed our minds that it wouldn’t happen immediately. I mean, we grew up being told that if you even look at the opposite sex that you’ll get pregnant right?! I mean the doc will tell you it MIGHT take a few months for the birth control to get out of your system, but then you hear all the stories from your friends that they got pregnant the first month that they started trying. So, what are you supposed to think when literally every scenario has happened and you have no idea what to expect.
You stay super positive those first few months just knowing that it is going to happen soon. And then month after month you pee on that stupid stick and only get one stupid line. Of course, your husband says “babe, it’s totally gonna happen next month!” and you put a smile on your face and agree. But it starts to take a toll on you and you battle with losing faith. You cry to God and beg him to bless you with a sweet little human yet slightly resent Him every time you get another negative stupid pee stick.
Now what?
Then you hear someone talking about their story and that they have been trying for years and have done every treatment and pill and still no baby. You realize a couple things. 1. You are not alone and infertility is more common than anyone talks about. 2. Never compare your journey to anyone else’s. 3. God’s timing is SO MUCH BETTER than yours! As hard as it is to accept that last one, you have to. Because it is!
I am so confident that we will have a family because it is what my husband and I want. What I have come to realize is that our family might not look exactly like I dreamed it would when I was 17. Shoot, we might get pregnant next month but that won’t make this post any less significant because these last 10 months have taught me so much about what a ‘waiting season’ really looks like and how much I need my God. It has shown me that in those moments of disappointment the only thing that truly helps us is to praise God for his perfect timing and trust that he has a plan for me and it is GOOD.
16 comments
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I love you!! 💜💜💜
Thanks so much for opening up here & sharing with us more about this journey you & Josh have been on. I’m committed to praying with you through this season of waiting and I’m also trusting God’s timing with you! I love you and am here for you!
Beautiful post. You are so right! The season of waiting for anything is so incredibly hard but your faith is inspiring. I love this verse during the difficult seasons “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you for sharing your story of infertility and this time of waiting. I’m sure the waiting is incredibly hard, but sharing your story will no doubt help others in your shoes. Prayers for peace and strength for you and your hubby.
My daughter and son in law have been trying for 6 years, we no God has a plan, so we just pray and thank God that he will answer our prayers, I will be praying for you and Josh as well
Hang in there. Infertility is so, so challenging. I just wrote a post about it (now that I’m a few years out). https://www.balancingbravely.com/blog2/2018/12/1/what-i-wish-i-could-tell-my-younger-self-before-my-three-miscarriages-and-year-of-infertility
I also highly recommend checking out the podcast, Beat Infertility. It taught me so much and helped me through some really dark times.
Infertility comes in all shapes and sizes but it hurts all the same. God is good and faithful. He has beautiful plans for you! Hebrews 11:1 Faith is confidence in what we hope for assurance about what we do not see.
Trish
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story! God is good. Keep the faith, I know it’s hard.
This post pretty much sums up my experience. It took us a year and a half to get pregnant with our first son and it was HARD. But those months of waiting were invaluable and did teach us lots of lessons of living in the wait. God’s got your back!
I’m so glad you’re able to keep positive. My second child took a while and it was scary.
I love that, pull the goalie!! That is just too funny!!
Trusting in God during your season of waiting is so important.
Trust the journey! Your story is inspiring!
I commend you for putting this very personal story out there. Y’all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Infertility can be such a hard and isolating path to walk down. It’s so crucial to be open and recognize that it shouldn’t be a source of shame. It is SO much more common than we realize! Praying for you during this battle.
this is a great post. Infertility isn’t talked about enough and your story is inspiring!